March 26, 2007

When I was little, I looked around and wondered, what's it like in all the families? Which ones have the pattern right?

I thought maybe the Jews have a pretty good thing going, cause after all, God choose them to raise Jesus. Then I wondered what they have. But I figured we didn't have much record about Joseph and Mary, so we'll just have to figure it out from scripture and prayer and faith.

So at 63, here's the best answer I have.

1. Give the child a clear cultural identity. Therefore the father and the mother must be in agreement on who they are and what they are to do. One can't believe in the Egyptian gods while the other believes in Yeshua. This much we have from scripture. Also must be agreement about daily things such as eating and what foods to eat and not to eat. The child should see and experience harmony, agreement between the parents at least on the basics of living. As much agreement as possible is good. Different values cause different evaluations of situations which causes arguments, conflicts. It is good to have the same values when weighing the scales of a decision making process, else you come up with different answers from those weighing the same situation but having different weights and measures.

2. Pray and read scripture daily, repeatedly, regulary to and with the child from the beginning. This is not only for the child's sake but also for the parents. See all the scripture on this subject.

3. Love the child with tenderness and gentle kindness. David said, Thy gentleness has made me great. A gentle teacher does not terrify the child. When father and mother have arguments because of different values this is not good. Do you wonder now why scripture lays so much weight on the getting of a mate of like faith? Same faith, same values, same traditions.

Show the child. Tell the child. Teach the child. Train the child. Watch for his strengths and enable those which are good. Enable the child. Nurture the child to grow, not to be dependent upon you. The parents' job is to "enable" the child.

Let the chld grow strong in the ways of his parents before being confronted with contradictory ways. Prepare the child for contradictions. Let the father and mother walk with the child through the woods to show what is friendly and what can be harmful. Repeat this many times before letting the child go through the woods alone. Woods can be strange places, different places, experiences,.... Let the parent be the one to give first exposure and first explanation of what is.

Feed him right. Teach him right. See Isaiah. Jesus was raised on the good things so he could reach an age of maturity where he could know to choose the good and reject the evil.

Teach him self-control. Give him discipline and respect. Teach integrity and honor. Explain the workings of God's love. Stories all the time. Stories to impart virtue and wisdom with understanding. Fill the heart with good things.

Most of all, look to God, pray, and trust God. Do all that you do as unto God. And your child will grow up just fine.

Jesus is your sufficiency. He is also the sufficiency for your child. His grace fills in the rest. Do all you can do, and then stand in the grace of God through faith in Christ Jesus.

Scripture says for you to exercise moderation. Phil 4:5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. Remember, and understand...the saying, "...moderation in all things..." includes itself. So, there are momentary exceptions to the moderation, sometimes you have to go extreme, but it is the exception, not the norm. I find this a great tool in rightly dividing complex situations. Yes, you do grow by faith and experience in the application.

Matthew 28:20 is perhaps the best overview for you. " Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen." Notice how Jesus placed the word Amen at the end. So be it. He was praying for you to do what He said. And what a wonderful promise, that He is with you alway, even unto the end of the world.